I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
