Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize