I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
