dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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