Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
