I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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