I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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