Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Randomize
