She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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