I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
