Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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