So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
