yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize