A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize