I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
