who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think I sprained my soul last night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I supernannyed him into submission
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
