Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This is classic penis vs brain.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
