He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
