my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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