Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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