i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
