One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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