were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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