Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
