If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
