party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize