Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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