why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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