it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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