I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
