they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
