Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i out mim tonsoeep
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