Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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