you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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