the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
