Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When are your genitals available?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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