Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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