so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
