i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
