Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
