so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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