Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
