How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
