Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just had sex bonerless
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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