I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
