i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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