And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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