im drinking this country out of the recession.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
