i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize