that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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