this boner is exhausting
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
