just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
