Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
