Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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