The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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