where am i from again
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
