My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize